Healing Well of Miriam

ב״ה
Thursday, April 29, 2010 / 15 Iyar 5770

Negative emotion causes a person immense damage. In fact, there has been research by many people to strongly suggest that illness can be traced to some crippling emotion, usually associated with some traumatic event. These emotions can “get stuck” in the body in an organ or a certain place, causing problems in that area. Dr. Bradley Nelson, in his book The Emotion Code, discusses this and how to shift those energies. He relates how people were healed from some very serious illnesses once these emotions were released. This type of testimonial causes one to think about how powerful emotions are, capable of convincing the body to manifest illness, as the expression of the overall imbalance.

I contemplated the various studies concerning treatment of emotions as therapy for physical healing. They’re very compelling. However, it seemed that they fell short. If there would be a trauma, usually it was caused by someone…even oneself. As long as the event is not dealt with, the emotion connected with it could return. Every time a person would revisit the event in his mind, that emotion is touched upon. It seems that there is a final necessary step for completing the healing—forgiveness.

We have always heard: “Forgive and forget.” It’s very hard to actually forget, but the feeling related to the memory can change, which, in sense, is the body’s “forgetting” to react. So, perhaps there is something to that old adage. However, it still falls short of the actual depth of forgiving.

Master of the universe! I hereby forgive anyone who has angered or vexed me, or sinned against me, either physically of financially, against my honor or anything else that is mine, whether accidentally or intentionally, inadvertently or deliberately, by speech or by deed, in this incarnation or in any other – any Israelite, may no man be punished on my account. – Siddur (Jewish prayer book) Prayer Before Retiring at Night

The siddur is not presenting just a prayer of forgiveness, but also a definitive formula. When someone errs against another, he owes him a debt, for which he will be held accountable before Heaven’s courts. Real forgiveness isn’t a simple one-step process. However, as a person prayers to release the offender from his debt to him, he is activating the process, not only in Heaven, but also in his own heart. It is proactive, not simply passively waiting for time to heal the wound.

The reference to “this incarnation or in any other” shows how long-reaching unforgiveness can be—holding a person in soul debt to another even beyond death, sometimes requiring them to come back together lifetime after lifetime. It makes us wonder if the stuck emotion can reach back before birth, if predisposed illness in a person can be related to an event in another lifetime. This prayer shows that even that possibility is not beyond repair. And, if this is so, it is likely that the offender is also in the world as someone in this person’s present life. It begs a whole new look at the souls around us. Who are they? What is their connection to us? Do we owe them something beyond our awareness? With this prayer of forgiveness, we can cover this possibility, especially as we come to say it with heightening recognition.

It is better, though, to forgive immediately, for the best we can do for “other incarnations” is guess. It is far better to consciously choose to forgive. This not only releases the other, but it releases ourselves from the bondage of holding another in debt to us. It is also a practice in trusting the just workings of Heaven’s courts. “So and so owes me nothing. I release him to You. Please do not punish him on my account.”

With this consciousness for another, we can more easily accept Hashem’s forgiveness and forgive ourselves. This is another essential in clearing stuck emotion that could potentially manifest as illness. The Hebrew word for prayer, mitpalel, is a reflexive verb, grammatically meaning that it is something we do to ourselves. It is looking inward and judging ourselves as we verbalize the prayer, which can be seen as a vehicle for this process. We not only release another for his debt to us, but also ourselves. Only then can we truly accept Hashem’s forgiveness and live unencumbered in the world.